Back home

So I'm sitting at the Starbucks in the Clairemont square, and I can't help but think how many times in my life I've walked into this place!
Let's just keep it at too many!

As I was driving up Balboa and saw the side of my high school the memories started flowing. And as I was sitting in the intersection of Clairermont Dr and Balboa I couldn't help but take a big breath in and sigh..... "this is home"!

As I drove toward the clairemont square I couldn't help but think of the countless of times I ran on that road, the same street that took me to school, and back home again. Looked up at the apartments I lived in and remembered all the friends that I made just by living in that place!

When I think about my life I and I think of home.... I think of Clairemont.
No, I wasn't born here, no I wasn't raised here since I was a baby, but Clairemont is where I grew up, and thus is home.
I know my life is gonna take me to many places, specially considering my latest decisions, but I know I will always feel at home in Clairemont... As long as it's not changed too much.

This place is where I met my 1st friend in SD ... Jennifer, where I went on my 1st date, Where I met my best friend Coco, where I went to Middle school and high school, where i ran, where i got saved, where i met my husband (twice) and where i learned to dream!

Clairemont may be just another part if SD for you, but to me.... This little place is home.
:)

Just thought I'd share my thoughts with you all today!

Rollercoaster of Emotions

So, I dont really read the news because it's mostly bad news. So when I do have a newspaper in front of me, I'm reading the comics!

Well, I was waiting for my husband to get off work and as I'm waiting I decided to check out what's new in the world around me. So I turn to my phone to give me the local news.

I read a story about a thirty something year old man who was so drunk, he had been driving while under the influence and in his drunkeness he ran an older (72 yr old) man over, and kept driving. He pulled up to a gas station where he asked the clerk to call him a tow truck and the clerk refused to help as he saw this man was drunk and may be dangerous..,. not to mention the blood stained shirt. Thankfully a cop happened to be driving by and saw part of the old man's body, which led him to the gas station where he arrested the drunk driver.

Now... My first reaction to this: ANGRY

How in the WORLD do people think it's ok to drink and drive!?? The old man was probably someone's dad, brother, husband, neighbor, uncle... etc! I was so angry at this drunk driver for being selfish!

And then I was : DISGUSTED

I was disgusted at the act itself.... murder? yes, it was murder! Did he mean to? He probably didnt plan it, but he DID get into a car knowing he was not ok to drive! Disgusted at Drunkeness!! Disgusted at how alcohol can take over a person's life. Disgusted at how many people have died because they were driving drunk, or were hit by drunk drivers!

And then I was: IN AWE

I mean WOW GOD!!! How freakin' amazing is our GOD!? He loves us so much that he died EVEN for the people like that! I mean WOW... I dunno if I could do that love someone that much! I was so humbled by how amazingly great HIS love for mankind is. "How could you love this man?" "How could you die for us, knowing some of us would do this kind of senseless stuff!???" * at that time I thought a bit more colorful *
"God you are so amazing, I cannot even begin to comprehend your love for us!"

And then: I REPENTED

I repented for being so worked up and angry... In the end... God loves this man.
I asked God to change my heart and help me love even people who I dont understand, people who get drunk

And finally I was: SAD/ COMPASSIONATE

I got so sad!!! Oh my goodness!!! What compelled this thirty something year old man to drink?? What was so horrible that he had to drown with alcohol. Why did he have to numb his mind and body? What was it? My heart grew with compassion for a man I've never met, but barely even found out even existed. This man must have problems he thinks he can't handle, and can only be drowned by the alcohol.
WOW... God works QUICKLY!!!
God started to show me that even this man has a heart, even this man is a CHILD in God's eyes!
This thirty something year old man, might be someone's dad, brother, son, etc.... he is important in someone's eyes... and he didnt know it!!!
HOW sad!!!
So I just cried... I cried at how amazing God is... and how sad this whole situation was.

And this was my rollercoaster of emotions that led me this post... just to say.... WOW... HOW AMAZING IS OUR GOD!

Too Good?

I was recently having a conversations with someone who had a hard time believing I had no tickets, violations, hadn't done drugs, etc.
At first I was a bit offended, like "what do I look like? A druggie? A rebel? what!?"

I didn't understand why this person didn't believe me.
And yet, talking with someone else regarding drugs again,
I told them " I wouldn't even know what one of those drugs smells like!"
And again, there was disbelief.

I couldn't understand why it is so hard to believe. And in saying this, please understand I'm not "tooting my own horn", but people have said... "You're too good".

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?

Got me thinking, where in the world is our standard?
Are we expecting our kids and teenagers to "experiment"?

Some may say, "well, that's realistic"..... And I think, well, that's sad.

Why is the reality of things a "statistic?" Why can't we expect our children/teens/etc to be better than the standard?
Why can't we teach them the consequences of such things as premarital sex, drugs, drinking, etc?
And why cant we show them the promises and rewards that come when you refrain from them?

I understand that we are human and that we will be tempted, but why must we expect our kids to fall?

Here are my thoughts:

Romans 8:3-4 says: For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

If we are teaching and encouraging our children, teens, friends to walk in the Spirit, to learn the Word of GOD, why then are we expecting them to fail? I mean... Is there such a thing as too good? Really? I think the only one who was "too good" was Jesus!

Why not expect people to love Him and admire HIM and aspire to be like HIM?

Why not expect them to be "too good"?

I'm not saying be condeming when they fail, no! The righteous man will fall and get up!!!

Expect them to walk in righteousness as GOD through Jesus has allowed us to do. Because of What Jesus did on the Cross we can walk, able to not fall into temptation and able to get up when we do, forgiven by God and convicted by the SPIRIT and NOT condemned!


Thoughts??????

Late Night Reading

Heb 1: ¹⁴ Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?

WOW! I mean WOW! I had truly never paid attention to this scripture!
This means that everyone who WILL INHERIT salvation... that's us..... has angels who serve us!

That's amazing. To know that a GOD so big, a GOD so amazing, so awesome made us, and with all our faults and all our craziness, he still sent angels to serve us! WOW! What honor!

I guess I never put thought into the fact that we have the authority over angels. That's pretty wild!!!

- And in saying that, I say it cautiously, we're human! How quickly can pride rise, knowing you are being served by an angel whenever you need it.
- It makes me want to be better, just knowing God's given me that much authority, that he trusts us with that! God, change me. Make me better to take on what you've ahead for me.
I know change, specially gaining wisdom doesn't happen overnight, it takes time, and it takes reading, learning and being in the WORD; something that is not easy sometimes with all the craziness of life.

I would encourage anyone reading, just know that GOD loves you, trusts you, believes in you more than you ever have. He's given you so much authority over so many things. Take the initiative and learn who GOD is, the one who loves you, wants you to know HIS heart.

My next project....

So, it has been in my heart to write a compilation of real life stories from illegal immigrants.
I myself having previously been one.

In my heart I want to expose WHY people come here and risk their lives to be here.
I want to tell people's stories about their struggles in this country, their personal lives, their school, work, etc. I want to bring to light the everyday life, the dreams these people have.

I'm not here to exalt the act of being here illegally, IT IS against the law. But I want to unveil the person behind the label "illegal immigrant" to see the true heart of people as PEOPLE who like everyone have hopes and dreams and strive for a better future for themselves, their families, their loved ones.

So, if you or someone you know is an illegal immigrant or has been in the past and if you're willing, send me your story.
I want to write about it!

Don't worry, no details will be exposed.

Send me an email or msg me via facebook!

Thanks...
These true stories will be up on my blog as they start coming in.

Thinking of dad

Sometimes when I'm reading something, watching a movie, look in the mirror, or even just watching people, I burst into tears.

My heart is sad. So many things remind me of my dad. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I can see his features in me. People trigger memories and thoughts of him.
Though he was not really a part of my life I can't say he didn't love me or cared.
This man once taught me how to play checkers in our living room, he once carried me into the house while I pretended to be asleep, he bought me a beautiful circus puzzle that I still remember vividly, he had an amazing voice. He didnt spend much time with us, he was rarely home.

I don't get sad because he didn't spend much time with us, I get sad because I wont get to spend time with him. He wont get to hug me or talk to me. He'll never meet my kids or know their names. I won't get to feel him or hear his voice, and though I didn't do all this while he was alive, doesn't mean I didn't want to.

I don't know for sure but I know that alcohol and tobacco had some play in his death. I know he had problems and was addicted to the substances. Sometimes I can't help but think those substances took him from me, from us. I know he fought the addictions, but never truly won. I know he didn't love them more than he loved us, but I know he was an imperfect man, with troubles and struggles who didn't know a way out of the world he had entrapped himself in.
Circumstances and things in life can take us away from what truly matters, family.

Sometimes what makes me the most sad is thinking that he died a sad and lonely man; not knowing he was wanted and loved by me. I can't even begin to imagine his last moments or his last thoughts.

At times I think I just get mad, thinking WHY is he gone, and I never got to talk to him? Why did I not get to see him again?

My only consolation is that I believe that someday I'll see him in heaven, maybe not as I remember, and maybe I'm wrong. But how I wish I could and would see him in heaven.

- In closing, I know my children will know and have their parents in their lives for as long as God wants us there.-

Love your kids, hug them, tell them you love them, caress them, it makes a difference and we remember even the smallest things.

Love your family, don't let arguments, drugs, substances, or distance separate you. You truly don't know how long you've got them with you.

To all my family:
I love you all! =) Even when I'm a pain just know that you are loved, even if I don't see you much or say it.

Leaders who Inspire me (part 3) Fran

Fran is someone I consider a mentor and a friend.
I've known Fran since I was 16. I dont know too much of her personal story, all I know is what she's taught me by living her life.

Fran is in the Navy, she's a wife, a student, and recently a mother of 3.
I know she's been in the Navy for quite a while. I dont know her position in the Navy, all I know is she's someone that takes pride in her job, who serves her family and her country by what she does.
She's also involved at our church. She has always been a leader at the church, even without a title. Even when things are not easy, she carries such a joy in what she's doing.

When she is home she makes sure to be a good wife and mother, putting her family first. There is never lack in her home, her children are always so happy and cheerful.

She is always in such an upbeat mood, happily serving her country, family and church.

She often opens up her home to people for fellowship and just to have fun.

I think the biggest thing her life has taught me is that you lead with your attitude. She's taught me that a true leader is a leader in everything they do: work, church, school, family, anywhere and everywhere! In everything she does, she always seems to have a great attitude, even when things may not go as planned. It's attitude that makes the difference between a good leader and a great leader!

Thanks Fran